Chamomile Coffee
by Pinkbowbunny
Summary: King Magnus and his royal entourage is visiting Enchancia for Valentine's Day, including his famed royal sorcerer, Greylock, who upon witnessing Cedric try and fail miserably at his first attempt at flirting, offers to assist his old schoolmate and rival with a lesson or two. He doesn't exactly have high hopes, but Cedric might manage to surprise him! Cedric/Greylock, gender-bend.


"Ugh…"

Valentine's Day. Every day of the year was the bane of Cedric's perpetually unhappy existence, but this particular holiday had always held a special place within him – Specifically, the part of his brain that supplied the strongest migraines. Everyone was always so happy and cheery and lovey-dovey, wearing their best perfumes and colognes and prattling on about how much they loved LOVE!

Oh, it was all just nonsense! Just an excuse to stuff chocolate down your gob! Or in the King's case, the queen's tongue…

Cedric hadn't intended to spy on them, he simply turned the right corner at the wrong time, and how do you do, there they were, the king pressing his wife up against a wall, holding her leg under the knee as she fetched it up to his hip, their mouths practically eating each other.

It was incredibly disturbing, embarrassing, downright mortifying… But, in all honesty, it looked like they were having an awful lot of fun too…

Just as he was starting to feel self-conscious about his staring, Baileywick turned around the opposite corner, and the royals separated with a blush as their old steward gasped loudly with a bright red blush, and exclaimed in abashment, "Your majesty!" Cedric quickly pulled his head back around the corner after that, and thankfully neither the king nor old Bailey had noticed him...

He really should've just holed himself up back in his tower after that, to avoid all humans for the rest of the day as he normally would… But the intimate scene kept playing in his head, rousing his curiosity, as well as his self-consciousness. He was going to be forty years old later that year, and not only had he never kissed a woman the way the king had just kissed his wife, hell, he'd never kissed a woman at all. At least, besides his mother, but of course that didn't count…

So that was what brought him to where he was now, staring around yet another corner at one of the maids (Violet, he believed her name was) who was dusting the tables and vases with a feather duster. He's always thought she seemed a bit common, especially due to her abrasive accent – But he had to admit, at the very least, she did have a rather pretty face, as well as a shapely body. And a pair of pale but full lips, which Cedric found himself noticing for the first time today…

Eventually, due to his awkward staring, she noticed him too and looked back. " Erm… Mister Royal Sorcerer?" She called to him. Though he remembered her name, she wasn't quite as sure about his, and didn't want to offend his petulantly-prone self by calling him the wrong name. "Is there something you need from me, sir?"

A self-conscious shiver rolled down his spine, as if he'd just stepped in ice water. Swallowing against his dry throat, he tried his best to appear confident as he sauntered over to her, thankfully only tripping over the rug once on the way over. "Um, er, well, I'm not sure about needing, but, there may be something I want…"

He tried to give her a suave smile proceeding what he assumed was a smooth line, but his nerves tugged his mouth down as he struggled to keep it up, resulting in a hybrid of a smile and a grimace that made the maid look as if she were exchanging pleasantries with a gargoyle.

"Um… Sir…" She tried to think of a nice way to put it, but failed just as miserably as he failed at flirting, and had to take an involuntary step back as she deadpanned, "I'm sorry, but you're making me terribly uncomfortable right now…"

He went from icy nerves to boiling blood in a split second, and bristled up as he shot back at her, "Oh. Well. Of course. I dare say you must be terribly busy, too busy to assist me – Yes, I suppose you'll be going to see a launder after work to clean that foul-smelling dusty dress of yours!"

Her eyes went wide before glaring heavily back at him. "Indeed sir! And I'll be sure to pass his business information back to you, since I can't even remember the last time you washed that robe you're wearing!"

He gaped at her like a fish for a second or two, too shocked by her nerve to remember to say that he cleaned his clothes with magic. In the meantime she took the opportunity to swipe some dust in between them, before turning on her heel and stomping away. He promptly snapped his lips shut afterwards to avoid getting dust in his mouth, but was a little too late, and he choked on a dirt-laden cough. Almost immediately after the maid had turned the corner, a second choking voice chimed in with Cedric's, except, this one was choking on laughter.

"Oh my GODS, Cedric…!" The castle's current magical guest and his old 'friend', Greylock the Grand, called out to him, holding his side in pain as the peals of laughter kept coming. "Holy Hexagrams – Who on Gaia's Green Earth taught you how to flirt? A troll?! AHAHA-!"

Not feeling quite so 'sensational' at the moment, Enchancia's sorcerer bit his lip to stifle his cough, trying to straighten up and save some dignity. "Oh—Cough! Well look who's talking! The most eligible wizard in the world, apparently!"

King Magnus' magician snorted right back at him, finally collecting himself and answering coolly back, "Well you're right, I'm not – But only because I don't want to be. And I must say, I was always under the impression that you didn't either? So, what was all that about then?"

"Perhaps you simply don't know me as well as you think you do!" Cedric snapped back, crossing his arms and sneering as he averted his eyes to the side in embarrassment.

"No, no, that's not it." Greylock replied surely, strolling on over to the sorcerer's side. "I've known you long enough to know this at least – You wouldn't make a fool of yourself like that unless you wanted something. At least, you wouldn't do so on purpose. No offense, but you're rather good at making a fool of yourself without meaning to…"

"Do you have a point?!" He growled in frustration, returning his eyes back on him with a glare.

Now Greylock was the once to cross his arms back at the moody magician, pursing his lips in a mockery of a pout. "Hmm. How rude. And to think, I was actually giving some thought to helping you out…"

Cedric raised an eyebrow with interest, but also a heavy dose of suspicion. "One, why would you do that, and two, HOW?"

"Why?" Greylock parroted, placing his knuckles on his hips in a facsimile of offense. "Because we're old chums, of course! What, a mate from school can't offer a favor in goodwill when a friend so –clearly- needs his help?"

"Since WHEN have we been friends?"

Greylock's hands stayed where they were, but his face fell into a much more serious expression, now genuinely hurt instead of faking it. "Cedric, I honestly thought we'd always been friends. What, you thought we weren't friends just because we pulled pranks and egged each other on all the time? That's what chums DO, you silly toad! Not to mention, you were always hogging my father's attention away from me – So I teased you out of jealousy, alright? Any child would have done the same. It doesn't mean I didn't like you..."

Cedric was left in a bit of a stunned silence after that, staring at the other sorcerer in shock. "R-Really…?"

"Naturally! I mean, sitting next to you in class was a surefire way of looking loads more competent, but besides that, I really did think you were fairly fun for a stick in the mud!"

Cedric turned his back on him, his arms still crossed, just a bit tighter, his shoulders hunched up and tense. After a short but stubborn silence, he finally muttered back, "…And the how?"

He could practically feel the grin Greylock was directing at his back, and just a second later, the shorter sorcerer had his hands on his shoulders, giving them a playful squeeze. "Well, old boy! If I'm to be completely honest, the thing is this – Women are attracted to confidence, and the fact that you've never been kissed is as obvious as the wrinkles on your face and the grey in your hair. Now, I think I might know a spell that could improve your confidence, though I promise nothing! But if you're up to giving it a go, we can go back to your tower and try it out?"

Cedric stayed tense at first, despite the kneading to his shoulders that he assumed Greylock meant to be reassuring. But finally, he sighed and let his shoulders fall with the exhalation. "Oh, alright – I suppose you can't make me any worse. At least, I hope…" He added over his shoulder, glaring as the shorter man grinned in response.

"Right!" Greylock chirped back, "Well then? Show me the way!"

Semi-reluctantly he did so, motioning for the other to follow as he directed him towards the staircase that would take them up to his private lair. The place currently reeked of roses and posies, cherries, strawberries, and other such sentimental stink, due to the queen's demand for magical perfumes the day before. Cedric mumbled something akin to an apology before heading to his bookcase, where a half-melted candle, beeswax yellow with flecks of green herbs throughout, was waiting to be relit. Cedric procured his wand and did so magically, and sighed in relief as the scent of sage began to cover up the fruity-floral sweetness.

"Alright, so what's this spell you were talking about?" He inquired as he turned back around, only to pause in confusion as he noticed that Greylock was leaning against his desk, with his own wand already out, but pointed at his own face instead of Cedric's. He also had a curiously contemplative look on his features, as if weighing equally difficult options inside of his head.

"Hmm… Cedric, do you like girls with straight or curly hair better?"

"What…?" The graying magician queried back in utter confusion. "I don't know, either is fine, I guess…? But what does that have to do with anything? I thought you were going to cast a confidence boosting spell on me?"

The pensive look on the other magic-maker's face turned into an even more curious smirk. "Well, that's not exactly what I said…"

Cedric clenched his fists in annoyance. "Are you trying to play some kind of prank on me? I'm not in the mood for your games, Greylock!"

"No games or pranks, dear Ceddy – Don't fret your pretty little head about it. I'll tell you the truth about my intentions. The truth is, there isn't exactly any spells I could do to boost your confidence, that sort of thing can't just be conjured. In this case, in order to gain confidence about talking to, flirting, and ultimately kissing girls, well, there's really only one way to go about it…"

"Which would be?" Cedric asked sternly, crossing his arms in irritation once again.

Greylock's smirk stretched into a grin at that. "It's rather the same as that old adage my father used to teach you, actually. The Sorcerer's Secret? Or, in other words… Practice makes perfect!"

"Practice…?" He began to repeat in confusion, but then Greylock suddenly took a step back, straightened out, and pointed the tip of his wand directly at the middle of his own chest.

"Corpus Muliebris." He announced in a very calm and purposeful voice, not missing a single syllable in what was clearly a very important spell to get right the first time, as was always the case when casting a spell upon one's own person. A soft blue light began to glow from the tip of his wand, and then a periwinkle swirl of magic began to wrap around him. As it did so, it began to change his features, subtly at first, and then increasingly drastic. His face remained close to the same, but his jaw-line became a bit thinner, and his lips a bit fuller, whilst the hair framing around it became a few inches longer, framing his face in waves. His arms and legs became a bit more petite, but his hips widened, and his bust swelled until there was no longer any way of mistaking what the spell had been for.

Seriously in shock, Cedric took several steps back, until his hips hit the corner of his desk. The pain brought him back some composure, and he grabbed the wooden sides for extra stability as he sputtered, "W-What on EARTH…?!"

Procuring a fancy lady's fan from the folds of his robe, Greylock began to fan himself with it coquettishly, "Well, Cedric? What do you think? Am I a pretty girl~?"

Well. On the surface alone, the new disguise was convincing enough, that is, he could pass for a woman, if one didn't know the difference. But Cedric obviously did know the difference, and besides that, although his body had changed, Greylock's clothes and voice remained the same. To be perfectly frank, which was all Cedric was usually capable of being, it was far more comedic than alluring, and indeed, the sorcerer couldn't help but snort into laughter at first. "PFT-! AHAHA! Good lord man! What are you DOING-?!"

Cedric had expected the other sorcerer to laugh with him and reveal that it has indeed been a joke. But instead, the shorter male took clear offense to his reaction, and instead, flicked his wand a few more times while muttering a few more spells under his breath. As he did so, his robes turned into a fancy royal blue lady's dress, one that showed off the rather ample new bosom that Greylock had crafted for himself, and when he finally spoke again, it was with a much more feminine tone, albeit an angry one. "You stop laughing at me, Cedric! Or do I need to hit you with this fan? Here I am trying to do you a favor and you're making fun of me! You cad!"

The newly changed voice and fancy dress did make the disguise a lot more convincing, and although Cedric knew it was still Greylock, having a womanly voice being cross with him was naturally daunting for the awkward magic-man. "O-Oh, um – I'm sorry…" He amended quickly.

"That's more like it." Girl-Greylock replied succinctly. "I assume you already know how to start out with a proper bow to a lady?"

Cedric gulped, and obeyed, bowing his head in respect to the womanly-Greylock, whom he had to admit, was rather attractive like this. He wasn't the kind of tall, slim, conventionally beautiful woman that was touted by most schoolboys to be the most desirable. Like his natural male form, he was short, and a bit chubby - And Cedric had never seen a woman sport one of those ridiculous monocles, but all the same, he had to admit… 'She' was awfully cute, in 'her' own way… "I just can't believe you really turned yourself into a woman…"

"Don't be ridiculous, Cedric." The squat maiden rolled his eyes. "I'm not really a girl. Not through and through, anyways. That's a much more complicated spell and it'd probably be permanent. This is just a temporary transfiguration to make me look female. But for the time being, we're going to pretend that I'm really a lady, alright? Now, let's start with the basics. Introduce yourself to me. Go on!"

"Um… Hello, my name is Cedric—"

Greylock immediately rolled his eyes. "What is this, a job interview? Come on man, lay on the charm!"

"I-I…." Cedric blinked helplessly. "…HOW?"

Folding the fan, Greylock gently smacked his forehead against the other palm. "Nevermind. I might as well be asking a fish to fly. Moving on! Can you at least pay a lady a compliment?"

"Um… Your dress is very nice?" He timidly tried again, and to his relief, Lady Greylock nodded in approval.

"That's good," He replied, "But be more descriptive! For example, you could say, 'My fair lady, the blue of your lovely gown is only surpassed in beauty by the color of your soulful sea-blue eyes~"

"Oh. I suppose that does sound a bit better…" Cedric agreed reluctantly with a raised brow.

"Right. Well, if you had done that right and gotten the lady's favor, that's about when you'd try to ask her to dance. So, go on."

Clearing his throat, Cedric bowed again, "M-Milady, would you do me the honor of a dance?"

With a shy girlish giggle, Greylock set his fan aside on Cedric's desk, and stepped towards the other man, his slender hand outstretched. "Why, I'd love to~"

But Cedric proceeded to look down at his hand as if it had turned into a bug. "…Wait. What? Are we actually going to dance?"

Temporarily taking back the hand to smack himself on the forehead with it, Greylock then proceeded to reach in and take Cedric's hands, and wrap them around his waist. "Unless you've already got experience dancing with a girl? No? That's what I thought." He replied, not even waiting for the obvious answer. "Now, try to lead and twirl me around - Without stepping on my toes, if you please!"

Sucking in a breath, Cedric left one hand on the small of his partner's back, and with the other, took his soft, small hand into his own. Then, though he was nearly as stiff as a board as he did so, he began to lead his rival-turned-romantic-practice-partner into what was probably one of the most awkward waltzes of all time, though thankfully, he did take great care not to step on his toes, at least.

Greylock was grateful for that, even if the dance was very slow and unskillful. "Alright, good. Well, good enough, anyways. Now, if this was meant to be a slow dance, and the lady was impressed by you so far and feeling wooed, this would be about the time that she'd do this…"

As he announced it, Greylock replaced both his hands on Cedric's shoulders as he leaned in and pressed his cheek against his collar. Immediately he heard and felt the other sorcerer's heart skip a beat beneath his ears, and he couldn't help but let out a little chuckle. "Everything alright, Cedric?"

The sensationally stupefied man choked on a cough before managing to reply, throatily, "Y-Yes! Ahem, yes, I'm fine! Just, terribly uncomfortable, is all…" It was partly the truth, and partly a lie. He was quite uncomfortable, but at the same time, the weight on his chest and the light, wavy locks of hair cascading over his collar wasn't exactly unwelcome, either…

Sighing with exasperation, Greylock pulled back to glare at him. "Are you REALLY uncomfortable, or are you just being a nervous twit?"

"…N-Nervous twit…" Cedric admitted in a quiet grumble.

"Right. Well then!" Greylock proceeded with a roll of his eyes. "I suppose there's only one lesson left at this point, and luckily for you, you don't have to initiate it. That is to say, it's much wiser to let the lady initiate it, however, I expect you'll figure out what you need to do afterwards quickly enough, at least, I HOPE…"

"What are you-?" Cedric began to inquire, but barely a second later, and the shocking demonstration had begun, as Greylock reached up on the tips of his toes, and placed both hands on each side of Cedric's face, holding him still and pulling him down a few more inches until their lips met.

"Mmmph-?!" The Enchancian immediately mumbled against the other pair of lips in amazement. Simultaneously numbed and overloaded with sensation, he did not pull away, although his brain was screaming at him to do so, the rest of him, in particular his racing heart, was clearly telling the rational side of him to stuff it. Greylock had closed his eyes, but Cedric's remained wide open, watching the feminine face in astounded engrossment as those plump, pliant lips pushed up against his, soft but stiff from the shock.

The lady-like Greylock continued to pad and pepper their mouths with quick, airy kisses, until they seemed to lose his interest. Then, he reached back behind Cedric's head, entwined his fingers into the hair above the nape of his neck, and sealed their lips together solidly, in a much more firm and insistent gesture.

Until that point, Cedric had merely been letting the sensuous strangeness go on without either stopping or encouraging it, his arms hanging in the air, as if held aloft by puppet strings, the master of which had apparently disappeared, at least temporarily. But Greylock parted from him in the next second, if by only an inch, and sighed a hot breath of exasperation against his jaw, "For god's sake, are you going to RESPOND…?"

As soon as those words registered, Cedric's phantom hands immediately grabbed onto Greylock's widened hips, eliciting a gasp of surprise from the witchy-looking warlock. The pupper-master in Cedric's mind was still long gone, but somehow, what he was now feeling so strongly compelled to do… Well, it just felt so very -right-, right at the moment...

So he pushed the shorter sorcerer back, insistently, until his shoulders smacked against the bookshelf behind them, knocking over the sage candle, which thankfully snuffed out as it hit the cold stone floor. Then he hitched up the left leg against his outer thigh, as he had seen Roland doing with Miranda earlier, tilted his head and sought those welcoming lips once more.

He closed his eyes like Greylock had done this time, which led him to miss and blindly reach the corner of his mouth first, before moving over an inch to the right and re-capturing those buxom lips, which fell open in a gasp of shock at this unexpected new side of his partner. Taking advantage of the heated happenstance, Cedric gave in to his curious impulses and slithered his tongue along the curve of his bottom lip, to the corner, and back over the top, where his tongue also met the tip of teeth, just before the other sorcerer's slick appendage finally reached out to meet his too.

If anyone had ever bothered trying to explain to Cedric before what this would feel like, like hot, slimy slugs sliding and rolling over each other, he might have gotten sick from the thought and never bothered to try. But slugs and being sick was the furthest thing from his mind now. On his mind now were cherries – Cherry tarts to be exact. The queen had requested them for that morning's breakfast and both their breaths tasted of them, though Greylock had a heavy hint of honey with the chamomile accompanying his, and Cedric's was even more excessively laden with the remnants of an extra sugary coffee and cream.

The shorter male clasped tighter onto the raven locks of hair between his fingers, lapping up the potent flavor as he moaned into the surprisingly aggressive sorcerer's mouth. Likewise Cedric, who had been shunning the taste of tea for years in favor of the more robust brew, was finding himself lost in the more delicate floral flavor, as well as the nostalgia of yesteryear. He remembered drinking this kind of tea with his mother at summertime luncheons on school breaks. In fact, a very certain luncheon was coming to mind now, one in which Winifred had finally tried to explain the very basics of the "birds and the bees" to her silly, socially awkward son…

Suddenly, the still just as socially awkward man wrenched himself away from the kiss, though not because he particularly wanted to. In fact, it was with no small amount of panic that he dropped the leg he'd been holding up against his hip, and pushed back against the opposite shoulder that he was grasping. At the same time, Greylock grasped even tighter at the other shoulder of Cedric's that he was also holding onto, reluctant at first to end what was clearly just beginning to get good.

"We need to stop now." Cedric quickly informed him, trying to step back from the embrace.

"Hmm…" Greylock quietly grumbled back, hesitantly letting go of his hair and shoulder, but still loosely clasping at the sleeve of his robe. "If you insist, old boy – But may I ask why?"

Cedric huffed and pulled back at his sleeves impatiently. "Because I don't want children, of course!"

That feminine face looked almost as if it had been struck, and Greylock quickly let go of his hold on the other man's robe after that. "W-WHAT…?!" He exclaimed in utter shock, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards involuntarily, if only to keep from grimacing in embarrassment.

The Enchancian flushed with color and crossed his arms as he took them back. "When two people love each other and share a special sort of hug, the heavens bless them with a child! Surely you know how babies are made at your age, Greylock? We were getting awfully close to hugging there, you know!"

The other male's eyes blinked slowly several times, not just like an owl, but an owl which was also very deeply in shock. "…RIGHT... Okay... Yes. Actually, you're absolutely right. We need to stop now. But for a WHOLE OTHER set of reasons…" Turning his head to fake a cough, he also added behind his hand in a very quiet mutter, "WOW…"

Cedric cleared his throat and Greylock quickly covered up his expression of disbelief with another, more dainty cough, before looking up and inquiring shyly, "Well, you needn't worry about any babies popping up, to say the least – But should I interpret that comment to mean that you love me, Cedric…?"

The taller sorcerer steeled his eyes back at his long-time rival, his gaze calculating and verging on cold. "…Take off that ridiculous disguise already…"

"…Right…" Greylock mumbled back, taking out his wand and mouthing the reversal spells, he changed his voice back first and then replied as the other spells were taking effect, "Listen… I'm sorry if I seemed a bit pushy with all this, but—"

Just as he was getting to that bit, Cedric grabbed him by the front of his robes, no longer an expensive-looking dress that he was nervous to touch, and pulled him into another kiss, shorter than the first, but firmer. More confident and sure of what he was doing.

Smacking his lips in consideration as he parted again, he replied thoughtfully, "…I don't know about LOVE, but I wouldn't kiss someone if I didn't at least LIKE them…" He smirked a little down at the shorter man, who was now sporting a blush just as red as his eyes were blue. "However, I like you much better like this…"

"I'm actually not sorry at all." Greylock suddenly admitted in a rush. "I planned all of this intending to steal a kiss from you from the very start…"

Cedric snorted at that and rolled his eyes. "I have no problem believing that, because you're a sneaky, cheeky, tricky little bastard." Even as he was saying it though, his smirk stretched out into a love-struck smile. "That's also part of why I like you though..."

Greylock sighed in relief and smiled back, "I like you too, old sport. But, although you certainly excelled at your kissing lesson, I think we need to have a brief chat about some of the shortcomings of your magical education…"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Cedric was not a morning person, to say the least. It had long been an unspoken rule in the castle for years not to talk to the grumpy, frumpy sorcerer until he'd had his first cup of coffee in the morning. Sometimes it was best to let him have at least two before attempting conversation.

But Baileywick couldn't help but comment that particular morning, since the tired-eyed man had his second cup of coffee in hand and was still looking considerably moody, "Cedric, is everything alright?"

Everything was certainly not alright. Greylock had to return to his kingdom last week, and the sorcerer hadn't been feeling sensational at all since he'd left… "I'm fine, Baileywick. Why do you ask?" He shot back impatiently.

The old butler raised a brow back at him and crossed his arms. "Well, to start with, are you aware that you're dipping a chamomile tea bag into your coffee?"

A blush began to creep up on Cedric's cheeks, and it had nothing to do with the steam from the hot drink… "Yes I know that! I just like the taste of it, alright!"

Baileywick reached up and readjusted his glasses impassively at the outburst. "That's fine, Cedric. I simply can't help but wonder where you got the idea to mix such wildly different flavors…?"

The pink on Cedric's cheeks bloomed into a full-faced red flush, and he snapped back in an outright growl, "NONE of your BUSINESS, Baileywick…"

"…Right." The steward smirked back, looking away for a few moments as the cogs in his head began to turn. "Well, you might not be in the mood for it yet, but just so you know, once you've finished that odd coffee-tea of yours, you've got some post today…"

Sliding the envelope across the table, Baileywick then quickly slipped away, observing from a safe and subtle distance how Cedric's eyes went wide in surprise, and then began to grin in excitement and elation as he realized who the letter was from.

Lady Greylock? Baileywick hadn't been aware that the neighboring royal sorcerer had a sister…

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


End file.
